How Miley Cyrus Brought The End of the World
by JustAskMeWhy
Summary: Miley Cyrus has lost her edge; she can't shock people anymore. The only one who can help her is Jesus H Christ. Yahweh isn't happy. Spinoff of "He's Just Being Jesus."


God created the world in seven days, but Miley Cyrus destroyed it in less than ten minutes.

Miley had ceased to shock the world after a year of her ratchet antics. She had done it all it seemed; even Lady Gaga said that she could not dream to compete with Miley's attention grabbing stunts. Miley had not only twerked on Santa Claus, she twerked on the Easter Bunny, French kissed the Dali Lama, gave the Pope a lap dance and consequently gave five hundred thousand Catholics a heart attack, groped every female little person alive at the time, commissioned her favorite dildo to be in the shape of Buddha, spanked President Obama and groped Michele Obama when she performed for their daughter Malia's birthday, and she had given Michele Duggar's newest baby a thong for the baby shower.

Miley Cyrus had run out of material to make Americans clutch at their pearls.

Or so it seemed.

Miley was in her room one day, scanning the news headlines to see if she was in an article. To her surprise, the last article written about her had been sixteen hours ago. Miley gasped. That was too long ago! People were going to forget about her if she didn't do something!

Miley threw herself back on her bed dramatically. What was she going to do? Who else could she grope, spank, or make out with? What inanimate object had she not slobbered all over? The Lincoln Monument? No, that was three days ago when she had paid someone to add a gigantic cock for her to stroke, lick, and deep throat. She had rubbed her snatch on the Statue of Liberty's torch, she had rubbed her skinny ass on Kate Middleton's baby, and she had sexted Steven Hawking, and that was all last week.

Miley sighed. What was she to do? It was at time when her gaze landed on a Bible she'd thrown to a dirty corner in her room five years ago. She wondered what she could do with that. The idea came in like a wrecking ball.

Jesus Christ was going through his Twitter feed when he saw Miley's plea. The tweet said "Looking for Jesus! Where does Jesus live?"

Jesus laughed when he looked at the replies the ever busy pop star had received.

_In your heart._

_In the Bible, which you need to crack open, slut._

_In heaven._

Jesus laughed because at the moment he was staying at some guy named Phil's house, which angered Yahweh. He sent her a private message and that's when they got to talking.

It had been three days since Miley had met her new BFF. They had come to an agreement that Jesus would descend from the sky to make the biggest deal out of it ever while she performed for Good Morning America. There would be no room for doubt that it was Jesus if people saw him come out of nowhere from the sky.

So Miley set it all in motion when she started to perform "We Can't Stop" for the fifth hundredth time. Jesus descended from the sky and more cell phones came out to document what seemed to be the "Second Cumming." People gasped. Miley had doomed them all, they were sure of it. The wars, the hate crimes, the Kardashians had not been enough to incur God's wrath to bring the end of the world, but Miley Cyrus had been enough. They were only partially correct.

Jesus had not even set his feet down before Miley had grabbed his ass, and that had made him laugh. People gasped again. They gasped some more when Miley started to grind his holy dick with unholy ass. Jesus, in return, leaned his dick into it and grabbed Miley's bony hips. The clouds rumbled with thunder and a strong wind picked up. God was mad. However, Miley was not done. Oh, no, she was not even close to being done. This would be the crowning jewel of her ratchet legacy. Miley Cyrus undid Jesus' belt, and that's when normal cameras shut off, for everyone knew what was to cum next. Jesus was happy to help her out, as he pulled out his dick for her.

That was when Yahweh decided it would be worth it to break his covenant with the mortals and flood the Earth and drown every living thing. He was not going to bother with saving a family again to repopulate via incest after the flood. He was done.

Once everyone died, Yahweh took it upon himself to kick the Earth into the supermassive black hole in the middle of Milky Way. As the blue sphere was crushed and shredded, Yahweh kicked back on his La-Z-Boy and lit himself a cigar. A few thousand years of humanity was enough.

Jesus materialized next to his father, and he greeted him with "What the hell was that, Dad?"

Yahweh looked his son, who had been corrupted so long ago. He blew smoke in Jesus' face and said "You can thank Miley for that."

Jesus sighed and nodded his head. "I always knew Miley would bring about the end of the world."

End.


End file.
